7-1

6 Months-

• I do plan on picking up my 6th month chip tonight... Upon further reflection an discussion, 'the dessert incident' is about intent. I knew what I was ordering, but my intent was to eat dessert. When I realized that my intent was changing, and that this was a potentially dangerous situation, I stopped.

• Am on summer break and have set up a schedule for myself to minimize down-time, which has been problematic in the past. I'm giving myself a lot of flexibility in parts... but looks something like:

• 7-8 wake, walk dog, breakfast.
• Depending on time, morning meeting then coffee shop, or off to coffee shop.
• ?-11ish- coffee, blog, step-work, web surf (sans porn)...
• bring lunch to townhouse, eat
• 12:? -2- work on cleaning out townhouse
• 2-4 free time (pool, T.V., more web surf... with porn...)
• afternoon- gym, nap, band practice... day dependent..
• Celebrated my 6th month with my first early bird meeting. Good stuff, and packed.
• Topic: sponsors...
• side bar: two old-timers brought up the damned last name thing again. Not sure why that's such an issue for them, but the more they talk about it, the less I want to bring my last name into things. Battle of the control freaks I guess....
• My share: When I'm purposefully not doing what my sponsor suggests I'm doing a few things-
• Trying to gain a sense of control.
• Distancing myself from God.
• Trying to pick up an excuse to get drunk.

Overall- Good day. Excited about helping to chair tonight.

5-19

Got to chair an online meeting last night, finally... Was fun, and left the meeting feeling very good about my program. My topic was "Step One: Complete Defeat." My biggest fear was that there would be no response to the topic, but, again, I was wrong. Seems like a lot of folks related to the "not yets".

5-17

Follow-up to my side comment the other day arose at yesterday's lunch meeting:

"There is being sorry, and there is not doing it again. No doing it again is the repentance."
"The difference between thankfulness and gratitude is what you do with it."

This is a program of action.

5-10

Have been led more lately to find some service opportunities. This morning I signed up to help chair meetings at AAonline. I'm really looking forward to this opportunity as this was the first place I found myself. Maybe I'll see you there!

5-5-08

Yesterday's lunch meeting topic was service. Here' s an area I could use some growth in. I've been gaining some confidence in reaching out to others on a limited basis, but I think it's a reasonable expectation that I pick a home group and work towards actively supporting it. Cleaning up after meetings, setting up coffee, facilitating... These all seem reasonable... Not interested in sitting on boards, etc... This quickly takes the charge out of the experience for me... Little too close I guess...