8-3

Interesting topic online this morning- Giving vs. Getting (or something like that...)

This is an area I struggle with- I feel like I do my part as far as service- I help out with online meetings, have chaired some f2f meetings... etc. and I love it- I really do- It brings me a sense of belonging, a sense of helping out, and some much neded humililty-

The problem is when I leave- When I get back in my head and the pride starts to build, and the feelings of not belonging, and being alone in a crowd, etc... Part of this, I think, is that I'm more aware of when it's occurring, and what it is, because of chipping away at my 4th step... So this is good, this is tough, but will lead to growth (when I start dealing with it appropriately... Part of it is also the underlying patterns that are becoming apparent: I spent my childhood largely outcast- I still make that connection.

Giving away my pride (telling on it, hiding it under a rock...) and retaining my humility maintains my serenity, connection with my hp, and increases my chances of sobriety- These are directly correlated and worth keeping an eye on...

Today- Feeling grateful, aware and connected- Residual bitterness about not being invited to an AA gathering last night (although I go to an amazing speaker meeting, hung with some great friends and had an overall great time....) but working towards getting beyond that- Humility- It's all about the humility... I'll get there...