Whew- A rough few days. Really lost it Saturday, but thankfully had sponsor at the ready to help me walk through it all... 'This too shall pass...' works for a while, but after two weeks of riding the 'bipolar roller coaster' I was beginning to wonder... The fact that I had to hang at a bar all night didn't help, but was not the trigger... The triggers were a series of events that made me feel very very angry, lonely and tired... sister, boif, friends.... felt very isolated and, in the end, fed up... (Focus on the solution:) Helped to talk with sponsor, change the scenery, get out of head for a while (talked to a recent relapser on the way home who is struggling much more than I realized...) got away from my ego and prayed...
This morning I was reminded again of the 'morning prayer' from page 86 of the BB:
God direct my thinking today so that it be divorced of self pity, dishonesty, self-will, self-seeking and fear. God inspire my thinking, decisions and intuitions. Help me to relax and take it easy. Free me from doubt and indecision. Guide me through this day and show me my next step. God give me what I need to take care of any problems. I ask all these things that I may be of maximum service to you and my fellow man in the name of the Steps I pray. AMEN
I like that- All step prayers laid out here.